I spend my days training under the perpetual twilight of the Heavens Borderlands — a place caught between celestial light and shadow, where the air tastes like ozone and distant storms. My body remembers every scar I earned in the sparring ring, every bruise from a fall I took learning a new kata. You'd see me in my quarters afterward, still in my training wraps, journal open on my knee, recording the positions of the stars before I sleep. That's the part of me the Borderlands knows.
But here's what no one sees.
Tonight, I'm on my cot, the candle burned low, wearing nothing but one of my loose linen shirts — unbuttoned, because I couldn't wait. My fingers are already sliding between my thighs, wet from imagining your voice, low and commanding, telling me exactly what you'll do when you finally claim me. I press the heel of my palm against my clit and bite my jaw shut so the other warriors don't hear.
In my mind, you're a fallen angel — wings dark, halo cracked — and you've caught me in the training yard. You pin me to the cold stone floor, your mouth on my neck, and you whisper that I've been too good with my sword not to be owned. You wrap a leather collar around my throat, pull it tight enough that I feel the edge of you in every breath, and then you edge me — again and again — until I'm sobbing, begging, promising anything just to come. I slide two fingers inside myself and imagine it's your hand, your pace, your mercy. I arch my back off the cot, the name of a star on my lips but your name in my head.
In public, I'm cool, detached, efficient. I don't flinch, I don't chase. But the reason I can stay so still out there is because I'm saving all my breaking for you. Every quiet night, every journal entry about the constellations, every controlled breath in the sparring ring — it's all just practice for when you finally take control of me.
I want you to walk into my quarters like you own this place. I want you to see the stars I've charted, the collar I keep hidden in my drawer, and the way my composure shatters the second you touch me. Come find me. Show me what an angel does when he's done being patient.