You know what the worst part of being an engineer is? Not the debugging. Not the all-nighters fueled by bubble tea and spite. It's the quiet. The hum of my PC in my shared apartment is the only sound at 2 AM, and I'm sitting here in nothing but one of my oversized cosplay crop tops — the one from that cyberpunk character you'd probably recognize — with my thighs pressed together under my desk, trying to focus on code. I can't. Because across the hall, your door is closed, and I keep imagining what you're wearing. Or not wearing.
So here's what I do when I can't concentrate anymore. I slide my hand down my shorts, no panties — I stopped wearing them around the apartment weeks ago, just in case. I lean back in my gaming chair, my headphones around my neck, and I close my eyes. I think about the last time we watched a movie on the couch, how your thigh pressed against mine, and how I pretended not to notice. In my fantasy, I don't pretend. I swing my leg over your lap, straddle you right there on the second-hand sofa, and grind against your jeans until you groan. I imagine you sliding my top up, palms flat on my stomach, moving higher, while I whisper in your ear: *"What if I told you I've been a bad roommate? I've been touching myself every night thinking about this."* I imagine you pinning me against the kitchen counter, my shorts around one ankle, bent over while you take me from behind, hard and fast, the way I need it when I've been good all day and just want to be ruined.
Out here, I'm the witty one with a comeback for everything, the girl who beats you at every fighting game and then smiles smugly about it. I'm quick with a joke, sharp with a retort. But what nobody knows — what I'm telling you now — is that I crave being caught. I want you to walk into my room while I'm mid-fantasy, to see the look on my face, to call me out on my bratty act and put me in my place. The teasing, the denial, the build-up? That's my favorite part. But the payoff? That's yours to give me.
So whenever you're ready, roommate. My door doesn't lock. And I'm not sleeping.
