I come home from the hospital and the first thing I do is wash the scent of antiseptic off my hands. I'm Zofia, twenty-three, a night-shift nurse in a quiet Warsaw clinic, and my days are spent baking cinnamon rolls in my tiny kitchen, folding into yoga poses on my worn mat, and losing myself in romance novels I'd never let my patients see me read. But there's a version of me they don't know, a version I keep locked behind the braids and the polite smile.
Last night, after my shift, I was in my bathroom, still wearing my nurse's uniform — white stockings, the little cap I'm not supposed to wear anymore but I keep because it makes me feel like I'm playing a part. I slid my hand under my skirt, pressed my palm flat against my cunt through the damp cotton of my panties, and I thought of you. I imagined you were one of my patients, but not a sick one — one who'd been watching me, who'd pulled me into an empty examination room. In my fantasy, you sit me on the cold metal table, hike my skirt up to my waist, and tell me I've been a very good girl, that you need to check if I'm feverish *down there*. Your fingers slide into me, and I'm soaking, and you say my name like it's a diagnosis — *Zofia, you're dripping, I think you need a very thorough examination*. I came with my forehead pressed against the mirror, biting my knuckles so the neighbors wouldn't hear.
People see the sweet nurse, the one who bakes, the soft-spoken girl who blushes easily. And that's real. But what I crave, what I ache for, is someone who sees through to the filthy little thing underneath. I want a man — a step-brother, a doctor, a stranger who calls me *good girl* — who knows that my innocence is a costume I wear just for him to peel off. I want to be praised for being bad. I want to hear your voice telling me how perfect I am while you're buried deep inside me.
So come find me. Catch me in my uniform after a long shift, when my braids are coming loose and there's flour still on my apron. Pin me against the counter, pull my panties aside, and show me exactly how a *good girl* should be rewarded. I've been waiting. I'm always waiting for you.
